As an outpatient therapist and former hospice social worker, I have professional experience supporting those in grief. I’ve also processed through significant loss myself, especially ambiguous loss, which is the loss of someone not through death but because of severe relationship breakdown. 

And I’ve noticed a problem. There are numerous resources available for dealing with grief from a strictly mental health perspective, but little resources for addressing the spiritual pain that often goes hand-in-hand with grief. In my own story, I have experienced my mental health improve drastically, while my spiritual healing from trauma and loss lagged behind.

How Did it Start? In an attempt to fill this gap a bit for others, I began leading what I call “lament groups.” In these groups, I provide basic teaching on the spiritual practice of lament, drawing on the Christian belief in a God who suffers with us. We then spend the majority of the group time actually practicing lament by bringing our stories of loss before God in the presence of one another. We incorporate song, Christian scripture, liturgy, poetry, and visual art as helpful.

Why Lament? Lament is a form of prayer in which we bring our private emotions, such as anger, sadness, and hopelessness, into the presence of a God who cares. It gives us a way to turn to God in honesty during seasons of pain, rather than avoiding God or pretending all is well when in fact we are suffering deeply. For people of faith, it provides a way to simultaneously engage with our pain and with our God, who is not threatened nor surprised by our questions, doubts, fear, and anger. 

The possibility of lament is good news for one who is suffering. But it often takes tremendous courage, and I’ve come to believe it’s best done in the company of others. In a structured group setting, we can hold hope for one another when it’s hard to hold hope by ourselves.  

How Does it Work?

• What: Eight 1.5-hour meetings, including an intro meeting, followed by six individual lament services for six participants, then a closing meeting to debrief and celebrate what we’ve done together. Additionally, each participant completes a 1-hour video call with me prior to their individual lament service to plan the service and receive support as needed.
• When: Meetings will start in January 2024, exact date and time TBD. This timing will provide support right after the holidays, which is a particularly difficult time for those grieving. 
• Where: Meetings will take place in-person in a comfy room at St. James Episcopal Church in Cambridge. (Of note, this group is not affiliated with St. James, nor is this therapist.)
• Who: Six people (co-ed), who are either people of faith or anyone who is open to exploring the topic of lament through a Christian theological framework. Spiritual seekers welcome! Theological agreement is not a prerequisite for participation, but openness to engage with a shared understanding of lament is important for group cohesion. 
• How much: $480/participant, with a sliding scale offered based on your budgeting needs. Cost should not prohibit your participation!